so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
