Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
