If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
