Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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