Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
