I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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