i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
