He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
