ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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