I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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