Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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