idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
