there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize