It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
