I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
