Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
