Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
