I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
