i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
