Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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