my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize