Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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