He had one of those small greek statue penises
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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