Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
