is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
