put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize