i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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