Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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