Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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