i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
