She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
