I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
