I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
