covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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