Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
