pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
