I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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