I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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