**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oh god the rape fog is back!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
