he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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