Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
