I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
