What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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