I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
