so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I cockslap morals
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
