Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Taylor Swift is so right about you.

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(650): View more from California

I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.

Fav 7 1249 875
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(775): View more from Nevada

I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.

Fav 10 2105 831
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(503): View more from Oregon

She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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(646): View more from New York

I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.

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(734): View more from Michigan

The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.

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(567): View more from Ohio

A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore

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