Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
