Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
