I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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