I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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