i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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