xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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