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Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
