booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im holly from the hills drunk
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
