I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
