he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
