Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
