im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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