she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
