i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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