we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You smell like stripper and shame
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
