I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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