don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize