belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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