laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize