marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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