I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize