just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
