people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
